- Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected it of fowl play!
- What should you wear to Thanksgiving dinner?
A har-vest!
- If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
Their age!
- What kind of music did Pilgrims listen to?
Plymouth Rock.
- What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner?
Your nose.
- Why do turkeys always go, “gobble, gobble”?
Because they never learned good table manners.
- Who isn't hungry at Thanksgiving?
The turkey because he’s already stuffed.
- Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Yes, because a building can’t jump at all.
- Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
The outside.
- Why was the turkey the drummer in the band?
Because he had the drumsticks.
- What’s the best thing to put into pumpkin pie?
Your teeth.
- What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?
The turkey trot.
- Why did the Pilgrims sail from England to America?
Because they missed their plane.
- When the Pilgrims landed, where did they stand?
On their feet.
- How many cranberries grow on a bush?
All of them.
- What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
The letter “g”.
- What’s the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?
The tur-key.
- Where does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
In the dictionary.
- Why did pilgrims’ pants always fall down?
Because they wore their belt buckle on their hat.
- What do turkeys and teddy bears have in common?
They both have stuffing.
- What key won't open any door?
A turkey!
- Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off!
- Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
It was stuck on the turkey's foot!
- Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn't chicken!
- What do you get when a turkey lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll!
- Where do you find a turkey with no legs?
Exactly where you left it!
- What do you call it when it rains turkeys?
Foul weather!
- Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk?
To hatchet!
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up, I’m hungry!
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gladys.
Gladys who?
Gladys Thanksgiving. Aren’t you?
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